“My name is Neema Mave, I am 20 years old and a single mother of a two and a half years old girl. Currently, I live with my aunt and her three children in block 7 Waibuga Maratatu D, in Kyangwali settlement. In Jan 2018, while I was in our garden in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), three men came out of nowhere and raped me. I went back home and kept quiet because of fear.
I did not know what to tell my parents or how they would react. A week later, war broke out and we were forced to flee and seek refuge in Uganda. We were resettled and lived in block 68 Maratatu A. When I realized I was pregnant, I decided to tell my parents who did not believe and were very angry with me.
Life was very difficult for me, I had no peace at home. My parents were always quarrelling and uttering bitter words at me. They decided to go back to DRC and gave me two options to either return with them or stay. A day before they departed, I decided to look for my aunt who was staying nearby and asked if I could stay with her. I narrated what had happened to me and how my parents were treating me and she accepted to stay with me. She counseled and encouraged me not to lose hope”.
Mave’s aunt advised her not to blame herself since what had happened was not her fault. Luckily for Mave, in March 2018, she came in contact with one of CARE’s community-based facilitators during a community dialogue.
She was provided with psychosocial support and this was her turning point. “I met one of CARE’s community-based facilitators who realized I was in distress, she encouraged me to visit the women and girls center at my convenient time.
I had so many questions; how am I going to manage the pregnancy, what will I tell the child about her father/origin, how will I support the child? When I went to the centre where I was welcomed, talked to, and encouraged which helped restore the hope I had lost and changed my mindset. All the questions in my mind were dissolved after receiving support from CARE.
I was given non-food items like a bucket, a pair of bedsheets, Kitenge, laundry soap, vaseline to help support during pregnancy. After delivery, I was helped to get my own attestation card from the Office of the Prime Minister and encouraged to join the survivors’ peer support group where experiences and stories are shared by group members to enable us to develop a positive coping mechanism and help in restoring hope. These stories gave me hope and helped me to get used.
I joined CARE’s Girl Shine Program where I gained knowledge and life skills of managing daily life situations and challenges. I feel so happy and empowered today knowing I have peers who can support me. CARE staff has continued to occasionally make home support visits to assess my progress.
I am grateful to CARE because amidst COVID-19 and during lockdown they did not forget about me and other girls. They supported us with dignity and hygiene kits to improve our hygiene, be self-reliant, and protected us from being exploited.
Today as I speak, I am an empowered girl, I do not depend on only food ratio but also do a small business of selling bananas near our home where I get some income to support myself, daughter, and complement my aunt. I can do my business as well as monitor home to give my aunt ample time to go and participate in economic and other community activities.
I was also identified and trained as a girl shine mentor to support other young girls in my community by disseminating information to increase their knowledge and change their behaviors.
This has empowered me, improved my self-esteem, I feel more valued and satisfied as a result of the support I give to my peers. I believe it’s important to share knowledge and skills acquired during sessions with girls in the community whose parents have denied them the opportunity to come to the center.
I am thankful to my aunt who has supported me all through the difficult moment, provided me guidance, love, financial support to start my business, affection and involved me in decision making. Today I feel safe, happy, and appreciated. I am a new Mave”.
Mave also called upon parents and care givers to support their girls when experiencing such traumatizing events because it was not their mistake to be raped, and to all girls not to give up but rather join supportive peer groups for faster healing and developing better positive copying mechanism.
